Emotional intelligence (EI), describes awareness and management of emotions and relationships. It’s a critical factor in achieving professional and personal successes. Your IQ, or intelligence may help you land a job. However, your EQ, emotional quotient will determine how successful you are in life. It defines how you interact with others and manage emotions. These relationship emotions are yours and those of others.
We have all heard and worked with really smart people. Some of them were impressive. Others did not live up to expectations. Those who are especially difficult to work with teach us more than we might realize. People who have an impact and inspire us, do so at a personal and emotional level. What makes them different was not IQ, but EQ – their emotional intelligence.
Understanding the elements of EI Blueprints
Emotional intelligence is our strengths in:
1- Identifying emotions in ourselves and others accurately
2- Managing and Understanding emotions
3- Effectively communicating and using emotions
(1) Identify Emotions
o How do I recognize emotions?
o Where do I hold emotions in my body?
o How do I know for sure that what I believe is true?
Skills and Concepts
o Be empathetic: Pick up on emotional and social cues to react appropriately. Work to understand others. Read body language and other non-verbal communication.
o Self-honesty: Accept your qualities and faults and recognize your patterns of behavior that help and hinder situations.
o Recognize that emotions can get in the way of accurately accessing emotions in others.
(2) Understand and Manage Emotions
o Will my response help or hinder the situation?
o Can you increase your awareness of your actions, so you see their effects?
o Do I hear the unspoken messages?
Skills and Concepts
o Reason and motivation: Weigh your decisions and behavior by identifying and prioritizing what is important.
o Manage feelings: Use simple techniques, like a pause for reflection, to act – not react.
o Choose to affirm the positive: Accept that you have choices, you can make a difference, and you are important to the community.
o Develop social behaviors: Respond to people’s needs, build conflict resolution skills, and accept feedback.
o Interdependence: Recognize your place in the community. Your decision-making considers short and long-term consequences of your actions. It also considers context and culture.
(3) Use and Communicate
o What is this emotion telling me?
o Do I know how to use emotional language to help understanding?
o Am I healing or hurting?
o What will my emotional reaction have on others?
o Will this emotion help me reach my goal?
Skills and Concepts
o Apply consequential thinking: Evaluate cause and effect and anticipate outcomes.
o Empathy: Use your compassionate awareness to guide your choices.
o People will remember the emotion of the situation long after they have forgotten the words and deeds.
o Express emotions appropriately.
o Practice integrity: Hold yourself to high standards and do what is right – even when it seems hopeless.
The Six Seconds Model
o Know Yourself (Awareness)
o Choose Yourself (Intention)
o Give Yourself (Purpose)
Know yourself (Awareness)
Increasing self-awareness and recognizing patterns and feelings let you understand what makes you tick and is the first step to growth.
Choose yourself (Intentionality)
Building self-management and self-direction allows you to consciously choose your thoughts, feelings and actions (vs. reacting unconsciously).
Give yourself (Purpose)
Aligning your daily choices with your larger sense of purpose unlocks your full power and potential. It comes from using empathy and principled decision-making to increase wisdom
Hereunder are some definitions for Emotional Intelligence that you might be interested to know …
“EQ is the ability to appraise, perceive, and express emotion accurately and adaptively. It is the ability to understand emotion and emotional knowledge. It is the ability to access and/or generate feelings when they promote thought. And, it is the ability to adjust emotions to assist thought.”
John Mayer, Ph.D. and Peter Salovey, Ph.D.
“EI is a group of emotional, personal, and social skills that influences a person’s ability to succeed. This is exceedingly important in coping with environmental pressures and demands.”
Reuven Bar-On, Ph.D.
“EI is the capacity to be aware of and express our emotions. But it is also the ability to manage and moderate them effectively. EI is what prevents anger from turning into rage, and sadness into despair.”